That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
They have beer where we have blood.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
