I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
