it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
two words...techno handjob
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
