chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
