This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
