We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
