I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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