Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
