Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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