So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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