yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
