Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
