ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
