Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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