hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
