One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
