You can't special order awesome
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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