Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it glows. i had to have it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
