and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
