Whod you bang
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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