I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
