Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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