I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
