Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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