Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
