I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
