You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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