there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
