I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
