5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
