How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
