you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm always down for nudity.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
