just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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