You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This house was built for laser tag.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
