Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
