We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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