Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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