i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
