he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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