you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
