Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
