It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
