My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
