You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
