Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
