Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
