Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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