I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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