In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We have started to decorate penises.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
