Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
