I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
