You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
