i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
