I can't watch pbs sober anymore
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
