i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
