My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
