you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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