You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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