i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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