Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
