Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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