why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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