The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
