Princesses don't give blow jobs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
