If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am naked and annoyed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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