Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize