So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
