got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
