my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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